Carpooling to the Mall: Gas Saving Practice or Holiday Tradition?

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Ho! Ho! Ho! Let's save some gasoline. That's what shoppers seem to be saying when they call their family, friends and neighbors to go shopping.  Each year at holiday time I notice it--more carpooling to the mall. But, does the money saved in gasoline make up for the time wasted, when one or more in the group must perform the "hurry up and wait" dance?


You know how it goes. Everyone agrees to meet back at the front entrance at a given time. Let's say for the sake of this example that there are 3 shoppers in our scenario. Two shoppers return early, get in line and pay for their purchases, ready to go on time. A few minutes later, the third shopper arrives at the front of the store with a chagrinned look on her face, requesting more time. What are shoppers 1 and 2 to do? I'll tell you what--wait. And hope shopper number 3 finishes by her declared time.


Here's what I learned about this annual event while heading to finish my stocking stuffers yesterday; I witnessed this story in play. As I entered the store,  shopper number 3 was imploring her two companions to wait just "another ten minutes", while she located one more item. "I promise I'll be prompt", she said, as she hurried down the main aisle, looking as though she had no idea where to find it. I chuckled, knowing that there was no way she'd make it in 10 minutes.


I emerged from the madness at least 45 minutes later, only to find shopper number 3 right behind me as I took my place in one of the long lines. As I left the store, I noticed shopper number 3's companions waiting outside, comparing their bargains. I stalled at the trash can for a moment, reviewing my receipt as a cover, in hopes that I could see shopper number 3 join them.


I was curiously awaiting the reaction of all 3 when the last shopper trailed outside, thrilled with her take for the day's efforts. I expected her companions to berate her for making them wait so long. Holiday spirit aside, I totally thought they would be ANGRY at having their time wasted so blatantly.


So much for my view on things. Shopper number 1 and 2 seemed to quickly celebrate shopper number 3's success, asking questions about sizes, colors and details about items. I walked into the crowded parking lot behind these three, amazed at the camaraderie I was seeing. Had I been forced to wait nearly an hour after the agreed upon shopping time limit, my normally good tempered patience would have all but vanished. My toe would have been tapping and I'd be making a mental note never--no never--to shop with this person again.


Driving home alone it hit me; I had lost something that these three ladies had embraced: the spirit of the season--enjoyment of the process. I reflected on this for a moment. Here I was shopping all alone, thinking of my dad at every golf ball and deck of cards I saw. There was no joy in the process--no camaraderie. 


That's when I realized the true benefit of carpooling to the mall is perhaps not the saving of a few ounces of gasoline. After all, the driver had to pick up the other two, which probably negated the benefit. The real gain was in the joy of friendship and rejoicing together in an accomplishment--a special gift found for a loved one. It's not really about the carpooling, but rather about being together--a time-honored tradition of spending time with friends and loved ones during the holidays.


Okay...I'm not mad at shopper number 3 any longer. Maybe the ache that is left where my dad once rejoiced in life will be less painful next year. For now, I'll be patient with myself about this emptiness, and most importantly, try to enjoy a little more of the bonding opportunities that the season brings. We'll call that item number one on my 2010 New Year's Resolutions. Lesson learned.

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